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August 12, 2004

Why Ain’t There One Lonely Horn and One Sad Note to Play?

Yesterday at work my boss, in passing, referred to my boyfriend and me as a “one-car family.” It just came out of him so naturally that it didn’t occur to me until a bit later to notice that a sweet feeling washed over me when he used those words. It was so nice to see that other people find it possible, even easy and obvious, to look beyond a marriage certificate and tending babies and blood ties and easily see that family is family. I remembered getting in a huge debate with my high school sociology teacher (Mr. Monzyk, who was a sexist dick that I’m angry at to this day, for a number of reasons that are neither here nor there) who didn’t agree with me that in the future, all families will be chosen rather than what you’re born into.

My boss is an older guy from a farm community in West Texas, and it’s clear to him that Jacob and I are a family. Why should it be so hard for people? (Of course, I suppose it should be mentioned that he’s also a homosexual living in Austin, Texas, but that’s not the important thing here.)

I just wonder about all those people in California who were married, and now suddenly aren’t. How does that work? What makes a marriage? I mean, what truly makes a marriage? And how is anything that they are any different today than it was yesterday?

Posted by pogo at August 12, 2004 7:37 AM

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i couldn’t agree more with family/union being chosen rather than born into, or certified in triplicate forms. there is something so deeply unromantic about weddings, but at the same time, i feel sad and angered for the people in california whose marriages have became invalidated, and who still cannot benefit from its most important aspects - sharing your lover’s citizenship, for example, or throne, or adopt children more easily.

Posted by: chomi on August 13, 2004 9:29 AM