peeny wally

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January 30, 2003

Teenarama

The weird dilemma in keeping a public journal is obvious, and discussed to death elsewhere, but it’s really hitting me where it counts lately. Of course you can’t treat it as a real journal, because only a lunatic would put something so honest and unguarded up for the general populace to read. And yet, if you don’t write anything real, or about things that matter, at least to you, well then it’s boring and pointless, no? So lately, a problem.

Everyone seems to be falling apart around me. I’ve known two people who’ve died only a month apart. Other people are collapsing in less obvious, but not necessarily less public, ways and it’s damn painful to watch.

Everyone is breaking everyone else’s heart in a million tiny ways, as though they haven’t learned anything since they were sixteen, and it kills me to watch.

I know that’s what people do; I think that I just expected it to stop somewhere around age 25, and now that it hasn’t I’m not sure what to do, except observe and flail, buy beers and offer condolences and that doesn’t seem to be quite enough.

Posted by pogo at January 30, 2003 8:22 PM