March 21, 2005

semper fi farfisa

I fell in love with this kitten on flickr and I can only laugh at how specific a “type” I remain attracted to! Still, beautiful.

I don’t think any more snow will come out. Well it’s still winter, but I couldn’t say I really hibernate anymore. Even in the sound 8-hour sleep of my last few work days, or in the depth of night, my eyes keep opening up every other hour, then close again, like one would feel a sword kept under their pillow. I feel anxious about not waking up in time for next week’s holidays. I have no time to get away, so I decided to buy a small electric piano.. no idea what kind. I will love it and wonder what took me so long. Me a daughter of letters, who am I fooling! My new career is maintaining registries of car accidents, I better get this out of the way now, nobody should want details. A new schedule means less holidays, but more time to be awake, and for my true calling : piano.

Posted by nathalie at 09:53 PM

November 16, 2004

hey, well i hate you with a crush

At the question, “what do you get out of the use of feedback?” the monks answered, power.

I can’t fall asleep in perfect silence. I can’t even think in thick, bland, heavy silence. The hummm of my computer, the purrr of my cat, low-level tinnitus, all mixes harmoniously with the everconstant hiss of the city. It offers comforting, enhanced silence. So why wasn’t I contented with that, and got myself lured by these stupid much overhyped white noise machines? How naive can I get. Feedback brings me joy, turns me on and helps me think - I figured, white noise in the evening would do just the opposite, lull and cajole and and! it comes with this free white noise CD! for white noise on the go. Well it costed me a fortune, and the suspicious package got stucked for weeks at the customs, during which I whined impatiently to everyone – and when it finally arrived, it sucked, and it came with a special handling from hell, surplus invoice of 10$.

Morale of the story : none. All my dreams are crushed now, let’s go.

Posted by nathalie at 04:45 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 17, 2004

ma planche de salut

link - i love the look of this, a balmy treat for opened eyes! and the
chapatiwocky, for rumbling stomachs! what else is nice? work experiments induced by a sore throat, and a night of dreaming that i have a sore throat yet still i can fly… « look! », fluttering feverishly my arms, to lamentable results.

anyway after the dreams, i came to work, where i conducted the experiment briefly alluded to above; can one anesthesizes one’s throat with large amounts of hot coffee? i still don’t know! still working on it! there is no music here, nothing but silence, and the faint whirling of heavy machineries, somewhere, might be my heart too, a little too pumped up. i would like to listen again to the new arcade fire LP, to be certain of my feelings towards it. arcade fire are a local band led by two texans in exile (do we say houstinite like we say montrealite?) producing epic indie music of the kind we haven’t seen nor heard of since the last montreal exports. but this song, rebellion! is quite nice, and make me long for the days when you could find the no-vocals version on the B-side of your favourite single.

i also wish there was a no-sports version of the olympics, with just country leaders signing peace treaties, wearing crowns of thorns and not minding if a little blood is staining their cheeks, because that is the price of love. also no bjork, but – you see it coming - einar orn, adding his grain of salt all through the ceremonies, « maaaaan..has turneeeed..into MACHIIINE! aaah! no, no, NO!! » etc.

ugh…this isn’t einar imaginary singing to me, it is my boss’ inceasing yelps to the troups, and it doesn’t hold a candle, nor brings much in terms of relief, uneasiness, motivation.

Posted by nathalie at 11:46 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

June 10, 2004

yes but i deserved it!

Over lunchtime today I bought a poorly illustrated Taschen Gründ edition of Alice and a 1999 Manual of Netiquette from the street booksale, where the crappy meets the misprinted under enticing bright orange tags. I wanted to reward myself for having affronted a scary needle at the doctor’s office, and having succeeded in biting my inside cheek to blood instead of passing out. I know it is a very boring old-fashioned phobia, but the terror is real, and have reached quite laughable heights over the past years. Plus I always need a rationale, no matter how stupid, to back up impulsive buying. Anyway, I rewarded myself with a couple of books but still it wasn’t testimony enough as to the exploit I had just accomplished. So…

I came across this silly
thing, and a very strange feeling took a hold of me, both pleasing and urgent, like a rush of warmth, or strange little growing waves, that carried me to the cash register… Oh no! Oh yes. And now it is gently resting under my desk and I truly don’t know if I can manage to make it until 5 o’clock, because I am filled with such strong urges that even though I keep repeating to myself “needles, poking, veins, needles”, still my mind wanders back to promises of the infinite delights to come tonight!

Posted by nathalie at 03:48 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack