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May 19, 2004

bannières de mai

I would give everything to be out swimming instead of having cold sweats over tomorrow’s colloquium-golf tournament, but what can you do. I feel feverish with the splendor of May, a warm luminescent sun and a cool cool breeze, May 19th, my brother’s birthday. We are both spring offsprings, and every May 19th, I half expect my brother to call up from some faraway pay phone and blurt out, “hey it’s my birthday! send in the gifts, plenty of kisses!” - which he does, calling up that is, a year out of two.

Every May19th brings forth a whirlwind of memories. How easy it is to romanticize the one that got away! And to get caught with the stickiest of archetypes, when your childhood is spent mimicking the antics of your ADD-afflicted brother. But what can you do. In the early 80’s, I was forcefed innumerable Ninjas movies, learning to distinguish between what was special effects and what was obviously not, and being the guinea pig of many scary experiments in the Ninja Room, a dark corner of the basement whose walls were covered with aluminum foil, Bruce Lee posters and Christmas lights. This is the room where my brother and I, utterly destroyed after the Canadian Customs seized all of the Chinese Stars and Sarbacane Bullets we had ordered from US catalogues, concocted our poisonous traps out of rubber bands and Ajax cleaning powder. It is the room where I secretly brought my girlfriends to go through my brother’s stuff, while he was out climbing electric pylons or exploring neighbours’ houses in their absence.

“My brother sucks”, I explained. “All he does is stupid boy stuff. He gets bad grades. He breaks things. He makes his teachers cry. He makes other people seem boring.” My girlfriends would understand, they had older brothers too, or older sisters. “We understand”, they said. “But next thing you know, your sibling is gone and you are left with nothing but idealized memories and love and regrets.”

Happy birthday, Stéphane the sailor man! I bet your hair is turning grey!

Posted by nathalie at May 19, 2004 3:53 PM

Comments

joyeux anniversaire stéphane! somewhere on a boat somewhere.

Posted by: chris on May 20, 2004 12:30 AM

extra the well-wishing from me.

nathalie, i love what you wrote. i remember you wishing a happy birthday to my brother once. i think girls who love their brothers the way you and i seem to are doubly tough and triply soft all at once, and much merit is due them.

Posted by: tam on May 20, 2004 2:07 AM

thanks for the well wishing, and the smile you two bring me. tam, your understanding of the sentiments i awkwardly express, again warms my heart.

Posted by: nathalie on May 20, 2004 9:25 PM