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April 8, 2004

le grand soulagement

During lunchbreak today, I found myself yet again conducting interviews with wandering 9 years old. “It’s for my weblog”, I said, raising my empty hands for them to see. They bolted left and right on their skateboards, 30, 60, 90 degrees. “Now what do you want to know?” I stood there for a moment, listening to the sound of wheels, boards and knees skimming the pavement. “There,” said one kid, as he wiped off little rocks from a scab. “Now stop writing poems about me.”

I went back in to sit at my desk, and I felt like a whimsy kid, or a parroquet, muttering between my teeth, can I be listened to for a moment? Can I be listened to for a moment? Someone has to reach the right conclusion here. Someone has to reach the right conclusion here. This is not worth a damn. This is not worth a damn. You don’t listen. etc.

But here I am at the end of the day, watching the birds soar in wavelike motions, the blinding play of sunlight mirrored on the buildings, the fetching young men carrying cases of beers, the godgiven right of jaywalking, and always this slight, sweet heartache, chocolate this and chocolate that, the 4-day weekend, right. now.

Posted by nathalie at April 8, 2004 5:02 PM