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April 3, 2004

hello

If there were initiations to hearten a timid chomper, I wonder what would mine be. Recalling a dream, maybe… Or three things that make me happy at the moment :

1. The many entries I have read, by friends and strangers alike, that have resonated with my thoughts, and made me wish to join in. I propose myself to assemble the links that I enjoy reading, on a list at the right, and leave my own words here, instead of scattered in my head. Thank you to Jacob who have teleported me in no instant into the great scary world of MovableType! wee.. I predict this summer to be slow at work, at least to do the best I can for it to be so. The gauges and measures we use are unreliable in the summer anyway. But even if many clients come in, I will strive to keep a leisurely pace.

2. And soon, we can be outside on a warm night. Tonight we move the clock forward, then the parks reopen and it’s my birthday! Finally, the sun will appear behind the mount Royal, after 6 months of darkness. It has always been this way, but still catch me offguard every year… When it all becomes grassy green and yellow, no matter how fleeting, I just love to go on about it.

3. What could be the third thing..? I will choose a recent dream.

There was a man in a store, handing me a book. The cover was very colourful, a girl with tangled hair, standing in a muddy field; How Nathalie fought the dragon. The man explained to me that the book was about archeology finds in our hometown. I listened and enjoyed, even though what he said made no sense. In reality the book was about the recurring dreams I had from age 3 to 6, of a dragon chasing me around the house, me running in circles, scared senseless.

It was not a dream of waterslide parks or mountaintop glass cities, my preferred stand-bys, but it made me feel assured and never quite faded. Something else for me to confuse with real life memories, in old age. I could have picked a real picture instead.

There is one of me as a teenager, breaking up a glass bottle against something I mistook for a new boat. The photo is in an album at my parent’s house, and though I couldn’t say why, is a reminder to myself of writing with a care, not an intention.

Now I must go pickup food and prepare old poems to regale my guests with tonight! Just kidding…I wouldn’t do that, anywhere but here.

This poem is called Devotions, and was written ages ago by a taciturn man, Rimbaud.

To Sister Louise Vanaen de Voringhem: …

I guess I like it because of its dramatic, sincere tone, and silliness too. I figure it is about masturbation. Thank you for bearing with me as I am breaking into my new weblog, hopefully I don’t harm my templates too much in the process.

Posted by nathalie at April 3, 2004 5:44 PM