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‘All violent feelings have the same effect. They produce in us a falseness in all our impressions of external things, which I would generally characterize as the pathetic fallacy.’
posted at 1:51 AM | comments (6) | dread/ennui, politics/history
The passage of time / Is flicking dimly up on the screen / I can’t see the lines / I used to think I could read between
posted at 4:00 PM | comments (5) | dread/ennui, work
Three is a magic number, yes it is, it’s a magic number. Somewhere in the ancient, mystic trinity, you get three as a magic number. The past and the present and the future, Faith and Hope and Charity, the heart and the brain and the body, give you three as a magic number.
posted at 7:57 PM | comments (1) | dread/ennui
That is not it at all, That is not what I meant, at all.
posted at 9:34 PM | comments (6) | dread/ennui, dreams
A brief conversation regarding the demise of Ippolit Matveyevich’s (late, deceased, dead) mother-in-law, Madam Petukhova.
posted at 2:39 PM | comments (1) | art/music, dread/ennui
Time goes by, so slow, when you’re stuck to me.
posted at 11:58 PM | art/music, dread/ennui
We know nothing. We record, calculate, draw conclusions. Your replies were difficult and sometimes impossible to codify. We deduce a below-average intelligence. We are sometimes in mortal need of inferior intelligences. At other times we have a no less mortal distrust of them. We will call you back.
posted at 1:35 PM | comments (7) | dread/ennui, work
Walking home from the grocery store last night, encumbered with onions and paper towels and thoughts of work, I was nearly forced from the sidewalk as a pack of ten-year olds on bicycles sped past, one turning around long enough to fix a gaze of utter contempt on me and yell, “SKATE ATX!”…
posted at 4:59 PM | comments (3) | dread/ennui
I seem to be regressing to the mental state of my 18-year old self. My brain won’t shut up. I can’t sleep. I bought a journal. I’m filling every 9×14cm gridded sheet with lists of things that drive me nuts. I want to blame New Year’s, which grips me yearly with a special, wintry dread; it’s a holiday that…
posted at 4:45 AM | comments (1) | dread/ennui, grrr
Lately I’ve been finding ladybug corpses strewn on the ground before me. In the front bedroom, by the green armchair. In a hallway leading to my cube, opposite a freshly painted wall. At the bookstore, in Classics, under Flannery O’Connor, where they did not have a copy of Wise Blood. When I was a sophomore or junior in college,…
posted at 6:13 PM | comments (7) | dread/ennui, dreams
Three days without a cigarette have sent my lungs into fits of hoarse, hacking expectoration. Three days of Robitussin DM have addled my brains to the point of uselessness. I think slowly and I work only with great effort and deliberation. My thoughts come one at time, ghostly and indistinct, like coded transmissions from another world. I hear my…
posted at 11:56 AM | comments (1) | dread/ennui, work
In my dream last night, Karla had returned from her year-long stay in Japan, so Tamara, Hoss, and I took her to a high school pep rally, declaring it to be in her honor. New Order and Salt ‘N Pepa blared over a single loudspeaker, the drill team stomped around in tasseled boots, the cheerleaders tossed themselves to and…
posted at 11:26 AM | comments (7) | dread/ennui, dreams