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This week I read Robert Darnton’s pop history of 18th century French culture, The Great Cat Massacre, the first chapter of which attempts to get into the heads of the old regime French peasantry by examining their folk tales. Reading these old peasant stories, which were passed on orally into the 19th and 20th centuries, not just across France but into the Caribbean and the Americas, one finds a worldview preoccupied by want, hunger, guile, and a certain kind of humor that is politely termed Rabelaisian. (If you don’t know what that means, I’ll shortly provide an example.)
Curious to read a few primary texts, I bussed down to the university library yesterday and spent the morning copying pages from the three volumes of Le Conte populaire français, edited by Paul Delarue and Marie-Louise Tenèze. Translation is for me a little like when a corporate manager attempts to perform an act of kindness — the results only come by straining against one’s natural disposition and ability, and they probably don’t fool anyone, either. That said, read on for a story about a doll that poops gold. Any errors and embellishments are my fault — sorry.
La Poupée qui Mord (The Biting Doll)
Once upon a time there were three young and very poor girls who were so poor that, between the three of them, they only had one dress to wear. When one of them went out, the other two had to stay inside.
One day, though, they came upon a small amount of money, and the youngest one said:
— I’m going to buy another dress — with that we can go out two at a time!
She walked to town and came upon a merchant who sold rag dolls, dolls that he claimed crapped precious gold coins. The young girl handed over all her money for a doll and quickly returned home.
— We’re rich, she cried to her sisters. I bought a doll that shits gold louis!
— You dumbass, the others said, you may as well have chucked our money right into the ocean.
But later, as night fell, the three sisters were settling into bed when they heard a little voice that said:
— Give me some white toilet paper, because I need to shit… shit some gold!
It was the doll that was speaking! Quickly, they placed a white napkin beneath it, and out it shat some gold louis. And every night it did the same thing.
The three girls were soon very rich. A neighbor heard about this and found out how they had gained their fortune. One night, after supper, he went to pay a visit to his young neighbors, and, as the evening went on, he pretended to doze off by their hearth.
Bedtime arrived, and the children went to their bedroom, suspecting nothing.
— He’ll leave when he wakes up, said one of the sisters.
When he was satisfied that the girls had fallen asleep, the wily neighbor opened his eyes and pricked up his ears. After some time he heard the voice of the doll:
— Give me some white toilet paper, because I need to shit… shit some gold!
He rose softly and, as the girls slept soundly, he snatched the little doll and crept away without a sound.
Once at his house, he said to his wife:
— Go find some white toilet paper and put it under this doll. Soon enough, a fortune will tumble out of its ass!
The wife spread their finest white toilet paper under the doll… who shat, not some gold louis, but the stinkiest filth, much to the great horror of the man and his wife.
The next day, at the same hour, they placed another napkin of the finest toilet paper under the doll, and the little thing presented the same gift. So the furious couple tossed the doll out onto their dunghill.
The king happened to be passing through at this time and stopped right there to tend to an urgent need. The doll chomped down on the king’s ass, refusing to let go. Greatly displeased with his new hardship, the king appealed to all the world for relief. He begged all who appeared at his court to extract the doll, adding that anyone who could deliver him of this monster would be given anything they desired.
And so the youngest of the three sisters presented herself before the king. The doll recognized her immediately, and soon the girl was cradling it in her arms. The king gratefully acknowledged his debt to the lovely young girl and pledged before all the world to wed her. Some months later he kept his word and made a wife of the mistress of the biting doll.
The End
This is based on a Provençal version of the story. Le Conte Populaire français also mentions a variant recounted by a French Canadian living in the U.S. In this version, the doll does not speak but is set into motion by the incantation “Crap, crap, my little slut.” There also is no king; rather, it is the neighbor who is bitten in the ass after forgetting where he threw the doll.
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comments
This made me think of Catalonia. Catalan culture is very scatalogical. Besides the christmas Caganer. They also have a log. I think they call him Uncle Shit, and the children sing a song while beating the log. The song is basically says, “hey uncle, you better shit some candy or we will keep hitting you with a stick.” I realize that this comment reads like someone recounting a dream they had, but I promise it is a fact.
posted by j on April 2, 2006 6:19 PM
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