remake/remodel

with apologies to myles na gopaleen

If you like, I suppose I’m something of a relativist in matters of morals or culture, but as for matters of taste, I tend towards an ill-humored egocentrism, contrary to my own principles. I’m continually baffled by other people, their alien likes and dislikes. My prejudices and preferences hover serenely in the center of my aesthetic universe, double standards and inconsistencies spinning in carefully proscribed paths around my head like Ptolemaic deferents and epicycles, lifelong leanings and unshakeable neuroses glittering with celestial majesty like stars in the vast dome of my mental firmament, everything meticulously charted in a manner that ensures, for example, my love for AC/DC’s first few albums is genuine and purposeful while your likewise sentiment is vulgar and provincial. Also I —

The Blogosphere: I need to buy a new battery for my iPod. Should I purchase the 17" Powerbook now? With my luck, they’ll cut prices the week after. Steve Jobs is a visionary, a man of shrewd business acumen. Excuse the mess! I’m redesigning my layout.

Myself: Pardon?

The Blogosphere: The bit about AC/DC reminded me of my iPod battery, which is dead, a documented problem. Otherwise, I don’t really know what you were going on about, as usual.

Myself: I was making fun of myself for letting my tastes ossify into narrowminded snobbishness. But more generally, I wanted to make a point about —

The Blogosphere: There’s probably a quiz about that; you should check my archives. What Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Monster Are You? I’m a gelatinous cube, a scavenging monstrosity that gulps and digests everything in its path — carrion, discarded weapons, treasure, what have you. My armor class is 8.

Myself: I don’t know.

The Blogosphere: George Bush. He lies! Thanks to Daily Kos for the link.

Myself: I’m with you there. I follow the news myself, as it happens.

The Blogosphere: I won’t be voting for Bush, that’s for certain. Have you read the Al Franken book? You should. UPDATE: I read the new Neal Stephenson on the plane, and that was good, too.

Myself: Very well.

The Blogosphere: Do you want an Orkut account? Let me know, I’ll send you an invite. Social networking software is the new enabling technology, after wireless networking, the potential of which we have yet to realize. This Flash animation is the funniest thing I’ve seen in days. LOL! Indie rock.

Myself: Right.

The Blogosphere: It seems Cory Doctorow’s new book is out, released under a Creative Commons license. Mine is Attribution-Required/­No-Derivatives/­Non-Commercial/­Link-To-Me/­I-Wrote-This.

Myself: Sure.

The Blogosphere: Sorry, by the way, for not updating in a few days.

Myself: Okay.

The Blogosphere: Blogging, it’s the Great Conversation. Thanks for the TrackBack.