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I want to comment briefly on anger as it relates to a couple prior discussions, and I want to talk about why I don’t appreciate finding glib comments like this on my web site:
I doubt that a non-white racial-stereotype would be received as cooly. Do homosexuals have a better sense of humor than minorities?
I understand that everyone has a right to anger because I understand that one person’s tribulations do not nullify another’s, that nothing is gained by formulating a hierarchy of human tragedy. I don’t understand that to mean that all suffering is equally trivial. Not all experiences are shared. Not all words have to be spoken, because not all words are welcome. If you think racism is a matter for your sense of humor to tackle, try thinking again, because I probably don’t think you’re fucking funny and I probably don’t need your patronizing words. Try understanding that I didn’t experience racism as an abstraction as perhaps you did. Try thinking about the right to anger; try shutting up and respecting it in others.
comments
I’m sorry that you were upset by these comments, Jacob. I happen to know the person in question pretty well. Unfortunately, you don’t. He’s really intelligent, and really progressive. I feel comfortable saying honestly that his comments were not made to offend.
I certainly hope that you don’t really want people to “try shutting up.” It’s the ability to speak openly - especially when we’re wrong - that allows us to learn. I know I’ve said this a million times, but I think it’s that important.
I’ve never experienced racism the way you have. I never will. I’ve never experienced gender bias, or homophobia, or countless other discriminations. But as a person privileged by my skin color, my gender, my sexual orientation - I feel like I have to be able to make mistakes without being ridiculed. That’s not to say that I shouldn’t be corrected - that’s essential. But if the price of opening one’s mouth is ridicule, then we run the risk of people never learning.
Now, please understand, none of this is meant to trivialize your anger. None of this is meant to trivialize the emotion inherent in subjects of oppression and discrimination. Maybe it’s asking too much sometimes, I don’t know. It’s a lot to ask for people to deal with being hated and marginalized and also to be patient with people who make mistakes. Things are bound to boil over at some point.
But I think we both know that everyone makes mistakes, and nobody is born with all the answers. We try to learn from one another and make our way closer to the answers.
sigh This is long and I’m sorry for that. Look, I don’t mean to defend anyone’s comments. I only mean to plea for the right of people to screw up. Because if that right doesn’t exist, I for one am in a world of trouble.
I have a lot of respect for you Jacob, as a man and as an intellectual. I also have a lot of respect for the person who made the comments in question. It’s hard, sometimes, to determine what people mean when you read short sentences void of any vocal inflection or larger context. I hope that we can foster dialogue instead of a culture of silence.
posted by seth on December 13, 2002 8:23 AM
The idea of “open dialogue” is so elementary that I don’t really see the need to advocate for it. I’m comfortable enough with the concept to expect responsibility from mature people. I don’t see it as a license to voice whatever mindless drivel pops into one’s head, especially regardless of context and audience. The context here is that I don’t know the person who made the comments, that I only know him through his past comments and contributions, and they have been annoying at best, almost without exception. I support anyone’s right to make an ass of himself around understanding friends, but I’m not sure why anyone expects me to suffer idiot strangers gladly.
We all say things we wish we hadn’t in retrospect, and we all benefit by an environment that allows us to say them. I don’t believe, however, that this means that “open dialogue” can always be used as a shield to excuse one’s thoughtlessness. I do believe that the point of a learning experience is to learn.
posted by jacob on December 13, 2002 9:25 AM
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