one real, one imagined, one somewhere inbetween

1.

(discussing the gilmore girls DVD box set)

customer: did you know this is $20 cheaper at best buy?

me: no, i didn't. are you going to buy it there?

customer: they don't have any left.

2.

(me trying to get a price sticker to scan at the register)

customer: if the machine can't read it, it's free!

me: actually, if the machine can't read it i get to kill you.

customer: what?

me: oh, i said, do you need a gift receipt for this?

3.

me: has anybody got dibs on the promo copy of the andrea bocelli CD?

manager: no. why, do you want it?

me: yes.

manager: i thought you didn't like it.

me: i don't. i want to smash it.

manager: why did you tell me that?

me: it's theatre. it wouldn't be satisfying if i couldn't tell anyone.

manager: you can't have it for that.

-December 24, 2004 01:03 AM